Saturday, November 5, 2016

Him

I still remember that moment bila I’m on my way to the hospital sebab my umi baru je lahirkan my little brother when I was in standard 1. I can’t really remember the excitedness masa tu sebab yelah lama kan, 12 years ago.  But, that moment when he hold my finger when he was 1 day old. I can still remember every detail during that moment. Dengan baju sekolahnya haha. I can’t even remember macam mana keadaan umi masa tu sebab yes! I was so excited back then when he hold my finger. Every day rasa seronok sangat tunggu the end of the day so I can go to the hospital to meet him.

Masa berlalu cepat sangat.

Now aku dah 19. And he’s 12 years-old.  

Harini, I received a lot of selfies from him sebab today he went to KidZania for his class trip. And, last night he did complained pasal his friends. He told me, takde sapa nak duduk sebelah dia dalam bas masa nak pergi nanti. And I asked why. And he replied, “ Entah. Waktu Nasih bawak bekal….semua nak duduk dengan Nasih” And my heart broke into pieces. Pity my little boy. Oh ya, before that my little brother ni suka bawak bekal tau pergi sekolah. Apa umi masak pagi-pagi, dia akan asingkan dalam dua bekas. Satu untuk umi, satu untuk dia.

And, masa tengah cuti asasi dulu, dia pernah one day bawak bekal roti sosej pergi sekolah. So he put his bekal dekat meja kantin sebab takut tempat duduk penuh and went to buy some water. When he came back for his bekal, and you know what? Everything is gone. Every single thing. His friends took every single roti dalam bekal dia and left. Do you know what do I feel? Sumpah I was so angry and feeling like nak jumpa those kids yang buli my brother. That was rude. Like really rude.  Sumpah aku tampar sekor-sekor. But, he didn’t cry pun. So proud of him. Besar dah adik aku :’)

I still remember back then, bila dia tak reti membaca. Yang dia kenal huruf O je hahahaha. Masa tu, umi abah selalu suruh dia baca and baca and baca. Tapi, he’s a slow learner. He can’t really catch-up everything dalam masa yang sama. And he cried a lot. Masa mengaji pun sama. Habis je mengaji, he came to me and cried :’)

“Kakak, abah marah Nasih” :’)

What do I do? Aku usap usap je kepala dia and cakap jangan nangis. Hahahaha bagus betul kakak dia ni. Tapi, bila dah pandai baca Subhanallah. Everytime naik kereta, nampak je signboard dia baca. Nampak je signboard, dia baca. Hahaha what a cute little boy. Excited betul dapat membaca.



When I was in asasi, Nasih nak UPSR dah. One day, abang aku whatsapp. Dia cakap, nanti balik ajarkan Nasih sebab Nasih tak faham-faham dia ajar apa. Dia pun dah stress nak ajar macam mana. Hahaha, I laughed baca whatsapp dia sebab I know my little brother macam mana. He’s a slow learner, and he need time to process everything. I said okay and I’ll try my best. So, bila dah habis asasi. I went home happily jumpa dia tengah tidur dekat ruang tamu. Hehehe tunggu kakak balik lettew.

Tapi, everything went so well, he started to do well in mathematics. I was so shocked, sebab dia tak reti matematik hahahaha. Everything was so different. Lain gila dengan apa yang abang aku bagitahu. Jeng jeng jeng, akhirnya bocor rahsia.

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Dia pergi tuisyen rupanya. Private tuition. Alhamdulillah, he loves his teacher so much, he studied so hard and he started to do well in examination. Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

Tapi, degree dah start earlier than UPSR. And I left him again. I was so sad tau sebab I can’t be there for him masa dia nak UPSR. After UPSR, he told me UPSR susah, BM senang sikit. Hahaha my boy. 

Alhamdulillah, he’s done with his UPSR and going to sekolah menengah next year.

But, u so small T.T You cannot go to sekolah menengah yet :(

I can’t really describe how much I miss him.
I miss him so much.
Tak percaya dah besar dah dia.
Dah pandai selfie.
Dah pandai pergi lawatan.
Dah pandai pakai hensem hensem.

So different masa dia kecik-kecik dulu. 



How I wish I can spent lagi banyak masa dengan dia. Sebab I want him to remember me nanti, masa dia dah besar. And I’m way beyond bersyukur sebab my parents still ada behind us and beside him untuk sokong dia and be our backbone.

Aku harap sangat sangat. One day, bila dia dah besar. Dia akan selalu ingat aku and our parents and adik-beradik lain. How we really love his keletah eventhough rasa annoying nak mampos hahaha I really really hope you gonna be a good boy and don't be a heart-breaker my dear. I did told him jangan bercinta kalau kakak tahu siap. Sebab I don't want him to end up jadi heart breaker or his heart sendiri yang break. Because both sucks. Yup, he's 12 and I told him that.  

I miss my brother so much. My family. My home. My room. Literally everything. How I wish I can go home now.


I really really miss everything.

Excuse my homesick-ness. Bye. 







Family-sick sucks.

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